Dedicated to mom

It’s already March 2012 and I haven’t visited this blog site since October 2011, Okay what’s going on with me. Well, for one, my mother passed away March 1, 2011. . She broke her hip in July of 2011 and it was a downhill spril for her. I watched my mother’s will power, her spirit. It was my first time witnessing a person spirit battling the physical to stay on planet earth. I’m finally able to talk about it and to take it a step forward, I’m blogging about it.

I feel like this topic is scared, in some way if I talk about it. I feel this is a disservice to mom, (even though she is not with us) . In my crazyness, I feel like people may talk behind her back. “Oh, do you know Mrs. Paul passed?” Girl, what happened? I don’t know. I guess she passed from…

I feel like I’m still protecting her, yet she’s probably somewhere protecting me. Sometimes I call out,” where is my mother, where did you take my mother?” Other times I know she is okay. During the crucial months of infections in her body, she prayed and said, “Thank you God for my life, thank you for each and every day of my life” She didn’t want to die. But she’s gone. I know she knew she couldn’t stay forever. I’m tripping, right?

I had a dream last night, she was deceased ,yet she was still alive, someone else cared for her. This person washed her body to calm the odor from her dead flesh. This other person kept her here in that ‘in between’ state. I was the witness afraid to get close to her. There were buzzard flying around outside of the house.

Upon waking I realized it was my subscious trying to keep her here.

Here are some information on Buzzards:

Buzzard - To dream that you hear a buzzard talking, foretells that some old scandal will arise and work you injury by your connection with it.

To see one sitting on a railroad, denotes some accident or loss is about to descend upon you. To see them fly away as you approach, foretells that you will be able to smooth over some scandalous disagreement among your friends, or even appertaining to yourself.

To see buzzards in a dream, portends generally salacious gossip or that unusual scandal will disturb you.



Read more: http://www.dreamsstudy.com/dream_meanings.php?number=725&symbol=buzzard#ixzz1plN2alhd

The Buzzard/Vulture teaches the power of purification of the mind, body and spirit. Also this intimidating bird aids accomplishing tasks through great patience and vision, using your sense of smell and discernment, and how to glide and soar with your own energy.
He teaches efficiency in actions and promises that changes are imminent. (I have recently been dealing with fear of moving foward with a project and this morning I decided to resign myself to a “Nothing ventured, nothing gained attitude.”)
He shows how to restore harmony of thoughts and feelings so one can reach new heights with little effort. (Just this morning I was thinking about how when I was younger and I would get an idea, I would be acting on it before the thoughts were even complete in my head but how I noticed that I hesitate as though I have something to lose or a fear of failure)
Buzzards will aid in uncovering truths, clarifying previous conceptions, and allow to see and hear subtle hidden qualities using intuition and awareness.
Buzzard can teach confidence and the ability to stand with dignity and soar with clarity and purpose.
He shows how to seek a new and heightened vision while increasing sensitivity.
http://sherryandrea.com/buzzard-and-vulture-symbolism/

Buzzard
To see a buzzard in your dream symbolizes death and decay. It may represent an ugly aspect of yourself. TOP
http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/b5.htm#Top
Bird, Birds - Dream Symbols
Guest Author - Aisling Ireland

Birds are a common dream symbol, sometimes appearing soaring high in the sky, sometimes trapped in a cage. Birds have several different dream meanings and specific birds also have their own specific function in dreams. First we'll look at birds as a general dream symbol then we'll consider some different types of birds and their symbolism.

Communication and the Language of the Birds

Thinking about the actions of waking life birds helps us unravel their dream meaning. Birds are known for their songs, chattering away to their kind and possibly us too. In fact, the mythological Language of the Birds is an expression of the link between human language, bird song, and the Divine. Anyone gifted with the ability to comprehend the Language of the Birds will have complete understanding not only of other languages, but of the mysteries of life itself.

The Language of the Birds is also known as the Angelic Tongue, supposedly being the language the the angels themselves speak. Angels and birds seem linked and the most likely reason for this linkage is the idea of communication and message delivery. Bird song and angel tongue both seem to have the same goal--the revelation of something important, something otherworldly, something perhaps divine, to the mortal. With such an emphasis on birds' ability to communicate, it seems pretty obvious that a dream bird may represent communication of some form. The bird may be a herald, bringing news about something which may soon come into being in waking life.

Flight

Birds in flight may symbolize freedom from limitation in much the same manner as flying dreams. (For reference, here is an article on flying dreams: Falling, Flying - Dream Symbols ) This ability to fly also makes birds symbolic of the soul set free from the body. Look to your waking life and see if there is something from which you wish you were free or if there is something that you believe will allow your soul to soar if you pursue it.

Nurture

Birds are creatures who nurture and protect their young most diligently. Look and see if there is a baby bird in your dream or a nest. If so, it may symbolize a need for some nurture or alternatively may signify your own need to nurture something you see as your 'baby'. For more information on birds and nests, see this article: Eggs, Nests - Dream Symbols
Vulture or Buzzard

Almost diametrically opposite the dove we find the symbol of the buzzard or vulture. In dreams this bird may symbolize feelings of intense fear, feelings like something is just waiting for us to die so it may feed on our carcass. This can be a fear of the death of anything--a job, a relationship, or anything else that you are emotionally invested in and fear losing. Look at your life and see if these are unfounded fears or fears that symbolize that there are problems in your life that aren't being addressed
http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art13600.asp

Dreaming of a buzzard indicates an impending doom around
the corner. As your lack of actions have led you to the detrimental state of losing control over job responsibilities, and trust over relationships. Your own fears create the cage that clipped your wings. Turn things around by being proactive, and fully engage obstacles that continue to show themselves.
http://www.mydreammeanings.com/birds/buzzard-in-dreams

Of course, this calls for a fair amount of flexibility and perception. The vulture is all about higher awareness. Those who are called to this bird are equally perceptive - maybe even coming into a time of higher awareness.
Vultures can spot fresh meat from miles away. In fact, its vision is vastly advanced. Vultures also have an uncanny sense of smell.
This kind of bird symbolism prompts us to use all of our senses to navigate in the pursuit of our highest benefit.
Bird symbolism of vultures also deals with renewal. Specifically, the solar aspect of the newness brought about by the dawning day.
Perhaps the most eerie image I have of the vulture was when I was a kid visiting my Uncle Dan in West Texas.
He lived on sprawling acres of sun-baked dirt with crazy craggy trees jutting wicked looking fingers into the cyanic skies.
It was here I saw dozens of vultures perched on these gnarly trees. Each bird had their wings spread wide open in the bright morning sun.
I asked my uncle why they did that. He told me they were welcoming the day with open arms.
I thought that was very cool (and even emulated them the following morning by opening up my own arms, greeting the day with as much mysterious reverence as those buzzards did).
Technically, they open their wings to the sun to dry evenings dampness from their feathers. The sun also cooks off any bacteria and guts lingering after eating - a natural cleansing process. Again, very resourceful and the vulture reminds us to call upon our natural resources to get the job done (don't work hard, work smart and work with the elements).
One other observation. I noticed the buzzards at Uncle Dan's peed on their feet. Later I learned this is a way for them to keep clean. Their excrement keeps acts like a bleach, and keeps bacteria on their feet at bay.
This is an unorthodox method that achieves remarkable results. In fact, if we think about it, bird symbolism theme of the vulture is all about opportunity and resourcefulness brought about through unusual and clever methods.
So, as it turns out, there are a myriad of reasons why the vulture presents itself proudly (and the do strike a regal figure. Observe them at rest - they're kings and queens in their own right). Independent and beautiful in exotic ways, the vulture is the spokes-bird for nonconformity and intelligent design
Of course, this calls for a fair amount of flexibility and perception. The vulture is all about higher awareness. Those who are called to this bird are equally perceptive - maybe even coming into a time of higher awareness.
Vultures can spot fresh meat from miles away. In fact, its vision is vastly advanced. Vultures also have an uncanny sense of smell.
This kind of bird symbolism prompts us to use all of our senses to navigate in the pursuit of our highest benefit.
Bird symbolism of vultures also deals with renewal. Specifically, the solar aspect of the newness brought about by the dawning day.
Perhaps the most eerie image I have of the vulture was when I was a kid visiting my Uncle Dan in West Texas.
He lived on sprawling acres of sun-baked dirt with crazy craggy trees jutting wicked looking fingers into the cyanic skies.
It was here I saw dozens of vultures perched on these gnarly trees. Each bird had their wings spread wide open in the bright morning sun.
I asked my uncle why they did that. He told me they were welcoming the day with open arms.
I thought that was very cool (and even emulated them the following morning by opening up my own arms, greeting the day with as much mysterious reverence as those buzzards did).
Technically, they open their wings to the sun to dry evenings dampness from their feathers. The sun also cooks off any bacteria and guts lingering after eating - a natural cleansing process. Again, very resourceful and the vulture reminds us to call upon our natural resources to get the job done (don't work hard, work smart and work with the elements).
One other observation. I noticed the buzzards at Uncle Dan's peed on their feet. Later I learned this is a way for them to keep clean. Their excrement keeps acts like a bleach, and keeps bacteria on their feet at bay.
This is an unorthodox method that achieves remarkable results. In fact, if we think about it, bird symbolism theme of the vulture is all about opportunity and resourcefulness brought about through unusual and clever methods.
So, as it turns out, there are a myriad of reasons why the vulture presents itself proudly (and the do strike a regal figure. Observe them at rest - they're kings and queens in their own right). Independent and beautiful in exotic ways, the vulture is the spokes-bird for nonconformity and intelligent design